First comes Love, then comes Marriage, then comes 30, and then comes…BABY?
The second I turned 30 it seemed like everyone and their mother had one question for me: “WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A BABY??”
First of all, I think it’s a little personal to ask me that; I mean do I ask you about your ovaries or about your sex life? Nope, I don’t. Now don’t get me wrong, I love kids…with the same love and passion I have for pizza, clothes, and travelling, but I feel absolutely no stress to reproduce just because everyone else is doing it, it’s trending on twitter and apparently my internal clock is tick, tick, ticking. I’m 30 years old or 133 in dog years- but that doesn’t mean I have reached the end of my timeline to produce a baby. I’m not dead yet people.
As a woman, I think we are asked these ‘interesting’ (and annoying) questions at every stage of our lives. At 16, I was often asked if I had a boyfriend; If I had ever kissed a boy? At 18, my mother suddenly got concerned about the length of my skirt- “Isn’t it too short?” (It really was too short- sorry mom). At 20, my parents started whispering amongst themselves and even the neighbours started asking me if I had a ‘serious’ boyfriend or if they should start looking for me. And then at 25, “When are you getting engaged?” “When are you getting married?”
So really, I’m not surprised that people are now asking the baby question, but give me a break people, I am busy living, not thinking about what I should or shouldn’t be doing with my life. And yes I know a baby looks so natural in my arms and looks good on me, but so does a Michael Kors purse.
People say that you should have a pet before you have kids with the notion that you will become somewhat acquainted with the level of responsibility that taking care of another living being requires. By raising a pet, you learn that they come along with not only cuteness but also a need for nurturing, sacrifice and a whole lot of attention. Well for my 30th year I’ve decided to approach things a tad differently and have made the choice to care and nurture for a plant. Congratulations!!! It’s a healthy PLANT. (I wanted a dog but the hubby said no – so a plant it is). Plants, like humans, need the five basics to survive and thrive: water, food, warmth, air and light. Plants also require a lot of attention in regards to whether or not their soil is wet or dry just like a baby’s diaper. If they need something- babies cry, plants wilt. Plants require different amounts of sunshine and water, babies- feeding and naps. Easy right? (I know all of my mommy friends are shaking their heads at me right now. Obviously I understand plants and your mini-me’s are not the same thing… but baby steps right?)
My point is, just because we reach a certain age, or decide to put a ring on it, doesn’t mean we should feel pressured to pop out kids. Don’t feel the need to explain why you aren’t reproducing the Brady Bunch. It’s OK to wait to have children. It’s OK if you don’t have kids yet because you want to be selfish or you just don’t feel ready. (It’s also OK if you decide not to have kids at all.) Stop freaking out. If there are things you want to do, do them. Work crazy hours, travel, go back to school, dance, sleep-in, learn spanish. You will know when you are ready – and good luck when you finally are. You will be an amazing mom.
Now go, Bay Awesome. xo
Amanda
PS- My plant’s name is Leo. It is a snake plant weighing in at about 5 lbs, sleeping throughout night and eating well. We are registered at any local greenhouse. 😉
